One day I ask 4 years old daughter that “We are going to look after a pig so it needs a next plan, one person will feed the pig while one cleans his cage, another will bath him. What are your selection?”
She answers quickly “I am the pig”.
Reflecting: the selection that you are asking someone is thing that you think they should do. But it is not actually true thing that they really want. So although you do sometimes your best and think that it will good for them, they refuse your kindness.